What a mentor is
A business mentor is usually someone with more experience who shares knowledge, offers perspective and asks useful questions. Unlike a consultant or an accountant, a mentor typically does not do the work for you or charge a fee, although formal programs vary. Unlike a friend, a mentor can look at your situation with some distance and relevant experience.
Mentoring is not magic. A good mentor can help you avoid some mistakes, think through choices and feel less alone. It cannot guarantee growth, profit or success, and every mentor’s advice reflects their own experience, which may not fit your situation.
What a mentor can help with
- Perspective. They may have seen similar problems and can tell you what tends to matter and what usually does not.
- Questions. A good mentor often asks things you had not considered.
- Sounding board. Talking through a decision with someone experienced can clarify your thinking.
- Introductions. They may know people you could learn from or work with.
- Encouragement and accountability. Telling someone what you plan to do makes it more likely you follow through.
What a mentor generally should not be asked to do: make your decisions for you, lend you money, provide legal or tax advice, or solve problems that require a professional.
Deciding whether you need one
Mentoring tends to help most when you have a specific area you want to develop, or when you are facing a stage of business that you have not handled before, like hiring your first employee or considering expansion. If your needs are narrow and technical, a paid specialist may serve you better.
Ask yourself: What do I want to learn or improve? What kind of experience would help? How much time can I commit?
Where to find a mentor
Mentors are rarely found by sending a generic request. Possible places to look:
- Local business associations or chambers of commerce, some of which run formal mentoring programs
- Business incubators and similar support organizations
- Industry groups and professional associations
- Government or community small business support services, where they exist
- People you already know: former employers, suppliers, customers, other owners
- Alumni networks from schools or past workplaces
Strong business networking often leads naturally to mentoring relationships. A person who knows you and your work is more likely to help than a stranger.
Choosing someone suitable
Look for:
- relevant experience, either in your industry or in a stage of business you are heading toward
- willingness to listen and to give honest feedback
- values you respect, including how they treat people
- enough time and interest to meet occasionally
Be cautious about anyone who promises guaranteed results, pushes you to buy something, asks you to invest in their ventures, or pressures you into decisions. A mentor should be focused on your learning, not their own gain.
How to approach someone
Be respectful of their time. A short, specific message works better than a vague one.
- Say who you are and what you do.
- Explain why you are contacting them in particular.
- Make a small, clear request, such as a 30-minute conversation or a coffee.
- Offer flexibility.
- Accept a “no” graciously.
Often it is best to begin with a single conversation and see whether it develops, instead of asking someone to be your mentor right away.
Making meetings useful
- Prepare. Come with specific questions or a problem you are working on.
- Share the real picture, including numbers and mistakes, within what you are comfortable sharing.
- Listen and take notes.
- Follow up on actions. Tell the mentor what you tried and what happened. People are more motivated to help when they see their input being used.
- Respect boundaries about time and confidentiality.
- Say thank you, and look for ways to help in return, even if only with information or introductions.
A regular rhythm, such as a monthly call, tends to work better than irregular requests.
Setting realistic expectations
- Advice is an input, not an instruction. You remain responsible for decisions.
- Mentors can be wrong or out of date, especially about changing markets or technology.
- Different mentors may disagree. That can be useful.
- The relationship may fade or end, which is normal.
- Benefits are often gradual and hard to measure, and they vary a great deal between people.
It is reasonable to have more than one mentor, each for a different area, and to review whether the relationship is still helping you.
Becoming a mentor yourself
As you gain experience, helping others can be rewarding and clarifies your own thinking. It also builds a network of people who may offer help in return. Share honestly what worked and what did not, and avoid presenting your approach as the only way.